Tattoo Artist Magazine

By Victor Farinelli 
This week’s show was humdrum and tiresome. It is a chore to watch this poorly produced, sadly directed piece of shit. I could edit better in iMovie than these cats can with their high-dollar editing studio. This week’s focus was on realism. For the flash challenge, the troupe was taken to a side-street where, out of nowhere, this clearly staged accident-slash-gun fight happened right in front of them. The contestants were supposed to draw a “hyper-photo-realistic” rendition of it. It was just a big advertisement for the new Fast and Furious 6 movie. Lame...

Illustrator Jason Seiler was the guest judge for this challenge. You’ll shit your pants once you see this guy’s work. Incredible. I don’t understand why they made the contestants draw a goofy made up scene from a commercial when they had such an awesome caricature artist as the judge. Again, poorly produced. DJ and Jarod were the top two. DJ won. As he is celebrating, he pretends he is going to “make it rain.” Don’t be such a half-witted sexist DJ. Do you make it rain on your female clients when they come into your shop? Do you take their money and tell them to get up on the table and dance, so you can make it rain on them with their own money they just gave you? Ya fuckin’ knucklehead.

[caption id="attachment_18425" align="alignnone" width="300"]djflash (DJ’s Drawing)[/caption][caption id="attachment_18426" align="alignnone" width="300"]jarodflash (Jarod’s Drawing)[/caption]

For the ink challenge, the contestants were instructed to do photo-realistic tattoos. Each client had a photo and the tattooist had to do whatever was on that photograph. They were not able to see that photo until right before the appointment. They had an hour to sketch from the photo. Most of them were freaking out the day before. Come on! Anyone who works at a convention goes through this shit all the time. A client books an appointment and wants something. Then they show up for their appointment with a janky-ass picture and the artist has to whip something up in an hour or so.

The top two this week were DJ and Jarod, again. DJ’s client and Derek should get married and have a bunch of self-absorbed children. She had this great story about her dad, his Puerto Rican pride, and his service record. She wanted to get a tattoo to commemorate that. So what does she get? A picture of herself wrapped in a Puerto Rican flag. Huh? How does that commemorate your father? Please don’t have any children. We have too many self-absorbed sub-humans running around already.

[caption id="attachment_18427" align="alignnone" width="300"]djtattoo (DJ’s Tattoo)[/caption]

Jarod had to do a tattoo of a wedding photo. The story was kinda cool. The client’s parents got a divorce many years ago and then came back together, realized they really did love each other and got married again. Sadly, his father passed away shortly afterward. It is a sad story, but it gives me hope for the human race.

[caption id="attachment_18428" align="alignnone" width="300"]jarodtattoo (Jarod’s Tattoo)[/caption]

The judges chose Jarod this week, and he had to decide who he was going to put in the bottom two. He decided that Brittany and Alli should be on the bottom this week. Alli did this huge racecar on the back of this girl’s back. It was NOT the place for it. I actually agree with Joe on this: it fucked up the back for anything in the future.

Brittany had to do jellyfish. I think it was pretty good. Better than Alli’s tattoo. Yes, it did need some black for dimension, but come on. Brittany has won two challenges and Alli has been in the bottom more weeks than she has not. The judges said that Alli was improving, so they decided to send Brittany home. I have respect for Brittany, because throughout the show she treated the show for what it is: a lame game show. You could tell she didn’t take the shit seriously, but she stayed positive and played the game well. Horns up to you.

[caption id="attachment_18429" align="alignnone" width="300"]allitattoo (Allie’s Tattoo)[/caption][caption id="attachment_18430" align="alignnone" width="300"]brittanytattoo (Brittany’s Tattoo)[/caption]

Two more episodes. I can’t take too much more of this shit. If I had not committed to posting about a show that no one really cares about, I would probably be telling you about baseball. Anyone out there watching baseball? Anyone? I know it’s not as violent as hockey and as fast paced as basketball, but there is still the occasional bench-clearing brawl and quite a few heavily tattooed dudes in the league. If you are, keep an eye on the Rangers. Currently sitting in first place in the American League West, they probably have one of the best pitchers in the league, Yu Darvish, in their bullpen.


Best Ink Season 2 airs Wednesdays at 10pm (EST)/9pm (CST) on the Oxygen Network.

Victor is a blogger for Tattoo Artist Magazine and can be found at:

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Written by 24471382 — May 29, 2013

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