By Victor Farinelli
Howdy folks. It’s me again here to bring you yet another exciting and death-defying episode of Best Ink Season II. This episode demonstrates to me that I am absolutely no judge of what a decent tattoo should be. I thought that most of the work that came out of this episode was pretty good. However, walking heart-attack Joe Capobianco hated most of them. I never had good taste...
Episode 5 opens with the gang going into a comedy club for an episode of Doug Loves Movies. No, just kidding. Our contestants are not a bunch of uncultured saps like me. No, no. They were at a comedy club to draw caricature. That is the first thing I think of when I think comedy club. For this week's flash challenge, they were put in pairs to draw a caricature of each other. This challenge demonstrated that you can be a great artist but a horrible tattooist. For the most part, they were all pretty damn good.
The guest judge this week was NYC urban artist Justin Bua. He picked Tylor and Brittany as the top two. Brittany did a caricature of Derek as a cock with a set of balls on his chin. Perfect. Tylor had Alli for a partner and did her as a mosquito with low self-esteem. Tylor’s was the best out of the group, and Justin agreed. Homeslice won $3,000 and a dinner on the town, with two contestants of his choosing.
(Brittany’s take on Dumbass Derek)
(Tylor’s Mosquito Alli)
Tylor picked Alli and Brittany to go with him out to dinner. It soon digressed into Tylor and Brittany making Alli feel like a third wheel, making googly eyes at each other. I guess this was supposed to be the human interest part of the show.
For the ink challenge, each contestant had to do a light-hearted, funny tattoo for their client who wanted a tattoo to pick them up when they are down. All the tattoos were pretty good this time except for a few. D.J. was in his element on this challenge. It was an awesome tattoo. The skillet was great! I want this tattoo to go with the plate on my head. D.J., my dago brother, you are a cocky fuck. With that being said; incredible job paisan. Stop making up shit like exaggerealistic, okay?
(D.J.’s exaggatastics tattoo)
D.J. along with Teresa and Jared, were the top three this week. Great fucking tattoos. I loved it. Jared did a bacon garter belt after saying on national TV that he was vegetarian. Then he was joking with his client and giving her light-hearted jabs about eating meat. Then what does he do? He goes and eats a piece of bacon during the break. Dude, don’t go and say some preachy shit, even in a joking way, then go and do some stupid shit that is going to negate everything you just said. Dumbass.
(Jared’s bacon garter belt)
Teresa was the winner this week as well she should be. The bouquet of spoons was cool. Very well done. With this win, she is safe from elimination next week. I have a feeling it’s going to be Teresa and D.J. on top for sure. I am still not sure who else is going to make it. It is still a toss-up.
(Teresa’s spoon bouquet)
Cocky-ass Derek thought he was going to be on top, but he ended up on the bottom with Brittany and Ralph. When asked by the judges why he thinks he is on the bottom this week, he said that the other artists are threatened by him, and they wanted to get rid of the best artist first. Fuck you douche bag. The judges let him know he was wrong, of course. His tattoo looked like a turd with eyes! Brittany’s donut and coffee were decent tattoos, but she should have done a different kind of coffee cup, like a mug. That would have been way better.
(Derek’s turd with eyes)
(Brittany did the coffee cup and the donut, but not the butter stick)
Ralph’s squirrel and fortune cookie were just way too flat and pastel-ly. There was no black shading in it anywhere. Fuck, people! Black is your friend not your enemy. This tattoo was an Easter color explosion. It hurts my eyes. I might have a seizure if I look at it too long. Put a sock in my mouth or something so I don’t swallow my tongue.
(Ralph’s neon squirrel)
I wish Derek would have been sent home, but Ralph’s “ink had run dry” and they sent him packing. Fucking “run dry.” Seriously?
Why do I watch this fucking thing. Oh, that’s right; I have no life. Fuck me. Well, until next week...
Best Ink Season 2 airs Wednesdays at 10pm (EST)/9pm (CST) on the Oxygen Network.
Victor is a blogger for Tattoo Artist Magazine and can be found at: http://www.facebook.com/victhortheviking.
Read more from Victor here: http://tattooartistmagazineblog.com/?s=Victor+Farinelli
Related TAM Blogs: